Students for Fair Consideration

This past weekend was definitely a great one. I spent my weekend with a group of powerful and inspirational Latinas, a weekend where I was able to once again reconnect with more AB540 students. It’s very rare to find this space, a space where I was comfortable speaking of my situation and where I was trusted in return to hear theirs. It is a space where I was able to relate and express those feelings that I constantly hold on to. The feelings of being angry with our educational system, the feeling of unfairness. It happens every so often where I am able to release these emotions and it is something that I should practice more often. I want to commit myself to speak out more often when I get the chance with another AB540 student. It is a time that is very crucial to me to move on forward with these negative occurrences surrounding us. Everytime there is an opportunity to reconnect with individuals such as ourselves, we need to take it. Believe it or not, it really does ease the negative mentality and emotions that we carry…

Two days ago, I got an e-mail asking if I could answer a 40 minute survey based on AB540 students. It was going to be used for informational purposes to really get a ‘true’ gist of what barriers an AB540 student faces. I took the time to fill it out, and while I was, I remembered that I was part of an AB540 interview in the summer.

I got asked by a Berkley doctorate student, a person whom I’ve known for a couple of years. She’s one of the community leaders here in Napa who had helped me tremendously through the process of applying to some scholarships. I agreed to take the interview. One Saturday morning, we met up. I wasn’t nervous at all before the interview, but it seemed that as soon as I spoke the first few words of my life and the hardships I had faced my whole life because of my undocumentation, I had no control over my emotions. I just started crying from sadness and shaking from anguish. It seemed like all of the emotions I had held on for so long, all came out. That was the first time I truly recognized how hard I had been working to get to where I am today. It’s something I had never talked about to really put myself to recognize my own life story…

Being undocumented students, as I’ve realized, really makes us strong. As hard as it sounds, it makes us to the great hardworking people we are today. As much as I hate admitting it, I think I would be a completely different person if it wasn’t for the struggles I had gone through due to my legal status. It’s something really hard to apprehend, especially when I would give anything to change my status in a heartbeat, but I’m at the point where I honor having the experiences I have and continue to have because of my status. Good and bad, it has and continues to make me into the person I am today.

This week I am going to meet with two professionals and leaders amongst my community. One of them is one of the directors for the program called Upward bound and the other is a principal in one of our local high schools. They are both very supportive of my plan in making this new program happen. My purpose in meeting with them is to really get solid ideas going for the program I have in mind. I want to tell them what my ideas are and get feedback from them if it is legitimate or more ideas I can bring to it. This a crucial thing since both of them have been involved in programs and understand what is do-able and what isn’t. The more help I can get, the better!

These two individuals have supported me greatly throughout my high school experience. They let me know on paths I should take, who should I be in contact with, etc. And throughout this process I never really got a chance to connect with them in a deeper level until 3 weeks ago at a community event. I had no idea that one of the programs I was in since my middle school years, was only for residents… and one of them had actually pulled some strings to get me in to it. The other one had an exact story as mine. She was an AB540 student at Sonoma State in 1997, she too went through the same hardships, barries, basically all the experiences I have and currently am experiencing.

The path to get this program, has already made an impact on my life and it hasn’t even started yet… I am excited to see what else this whole is experience is going to contribute to my life.

I went my whole life, never once meeting another AB540 individual, never having that opportunity to meet a person going through the same hardships as I. Not being able to drive to pick up my friends for lunch or taking my little sister to school. Not being able to work legally to bring food to our already needy table. Not being able to visit my hometown to see my Tios and Tias that I haven’t seen for more than a decade. Not being able to get financial government support to continue my great achievements in one of the top colleges. Not being able to find someone to relate these hardships with. I honestly thought that I was the only one that has these barriers.

Finally, three weeks ago, I crossed paths with other AB540 Latinas. It was a moment that I was waiting for years! I instantly felt a bigger sense of strength, a sense that I had other individuals with me in the fight for our education and fairness. At this point, I thought that all AB540 students were Latinos, that we were the only ones in this struggle…

Two weeks ago, I was proven wrong once again. It’s not a ‘Hispanic’ thing, it’s EVERYONE. I was very honored to meet many other AB540 students of a variety of ethnicities, strong individuals such as I, that are not taking no for an answer.

For a the whole nineteen years of my life, I was in a search to meet others like myself. And before I knew it, I now know more than fifteen individuals who are in the fight for fair education.My story is their story and their story is mine. I will continue my path to strive to get ahead and support them as I know they will for me. We are here to take all steps forward and never taking a step back.